


Pastalocks and the Three Bruins

by MeansToOffend (goodmorning)



Series: 31 in 31: NHL Fairy Tales [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Boston Bruins, Fairy Tale Retellings, Gen, what am I even doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 20:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11997690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodmorning/pseuds/MeansToOffend
Summary: "Once upon a time there were three Bruins, who practiced together in a rink in Boston."It was while they were gone that a young man, with beautiful curling locks the color of the darkest wild honey, happened upon the rink."





	Pastalocks and the Three Bruins

Once upon a time there were three Bruins, who practiced together in a rink in Boston. Their names were Marchy, Bergy, and Chara, and, as Bruins are, they were all very different sizes. But they were such close friends their differences only served to bring them together. One morning, they arrived at the rink so early that the ice was not yet quite ready, so rather than risk causing themselves injury, they went for a run together so as not to waste any time.

It was while they were gone that a young man, with beautiful curling locks the color of the darkest wild honey, happened upon the rink. He was new to the area, and did not know that the Bruins were accustomed to having the place to themselves at certain times. How could he, when he hadn’t even known it was there? Of course, if the Bruins had been there, they were so kind they would have invited him to skate with them. But they were not. And so the young man poked his head in, and was enchanted by what he saw.

“I wish I had my skates,” the young man, known to his comrades as Pasta, said to himself. “But wait - are those some pairs over there?” And they were, for indeed the Bruins had left their skates at the rink when they went for their run. 

Pasta sat down on the bench and tried each pair on. The first pair, which belonged to Marchy, were too small. The second pair, which belonged to Chara, were much too big. But the third pair, which belonged to Bergy, were just right, and Pasta took several laps around the rink in them before he noticed the sticks.

Pasta was an avid hockey player, and when he saw the bag of pucks next to the sticks he knew he had to play around a little. Chara’s stick was much too long. Bergy’s blade was much too flat. But Marchy’s stick was just right, and Pasta spent a blissful half-hour firing shot after shot at the net downrink.

At last, he was tired and thirsty, and when he put the stick down and took off the skates, he noticed that there were three thermoses of coffee under his seat. It made him worry a little, realizing that he’d just borrowed someone else’s things without asking, and he resolved to make it up to them by buying them all fresh coffees. That he’d have to try them first was just a nice bonus.

Bergy’s coffee was far too cold. Marchy’s coffee was far too sweet. But Chara’s coffee was hot and black, and Pasta accidentally drank a good deal more of it than he intended to. Still, armed with the knowledge of their orders, he walked the two blocks to the nearest coffee shop to try and repay his debt.

By this time the Bruins were well warmed-up, so they came back to the rink to practice. And when they got to their skates, they noticed that these were not placed as neatly as they had left them.

“Someone’s been wearing my skates,” said Marchy, giving them a surreptitious sniff.

“Somebody’s been wearing my skates, too,” said Chara, loosening the laces.

“Somebody’s been wearing my skates,” said Bergy, making a face, “and he’s gotten them all sweaty!”

Upon discovering this, the Bruins became more concerned about their things. What else might have been bothered?

“Somebody’s been using my stick,” said Chara, turning it the right way up again.

“Somebody’s been using my stick as well,” said Bergy, still sounding more distraught about the skates.

“Somebody’s been using my stick,” said Marchy, sounding perplexed, “and he did a really weird tape job.”

Turning to look at the tape, Bergy spotted their thermoses all lined up in a row and went cold. Dropping his skates, he hurried over and unscrewed the lid of his own. Though he was expecting what he found, it still chilled him almost as much as the drink would have.

“Somebody’s been drinking my coffee,” said Bergy, staring between it and his skates with a tragic expression.

“Somebody’s been drinking my coffee also,” said Marchy, draining the thermos anyway.

“Somebody’s been drinking my coffee,” thundered Chara, thoroughly losing his temper at last, “and he’s drunk all of it.”

Now Pasta was just outside the door, and he heard this shout, but though it frightened him he knew he ought to go in and face them, because they were right to be angry and anyway he’d spent way too much on coffee he mostly wasn’t going to want to drink himself. 

Seeing the coffee steaming in Pasta’s hands, dark and rich, Chara stopped his angry rumbling and drank the whole cup. Pasta wondered how it was possible for him to do that without seriously burning himself, but he kept quiet as the other two took their respective cups from him. Marchy’s glare softened perceptibly after tasting his sugary monstrosity, and Bergy drank his iced concoction with one eyebrow perpetually raised. Pasta very much wanted to get to know them.

“I’m very sorry,” Pasta said at last, when they stopped drinking and looked at him. “I wasn’t really thinking, and I didn’t realize these things belonged to people until after I’d used them, and then I had to try your coffee so I knew what to order as an apology-”

“Who the fuck has been shooting on my net?” someone bellowed from the other end of the ice.

“Oh, shit,” Marchy said under his breath, but Bergy was ready to defuse the situation.

“You’re late, Tuuks!” he called.

And so the Bruins increased their number by one, and Pasta was welcomed back with open arms on every subsequent practice day - so long as he brought his own gear.

And, of course, coffee.

**Author's Note:**

> \- I genuinely googled to find out if Czech and Slovak coffee preferences tended to be similar.  
> \- There is a joke here: Pastrnak tapes his stick in such a slapdash fashion that it's not quite believable.  
> \- If I'm counting correctly, then including today and Oct 4, there should be 31 days on which I can post these.


End file.
